Today I will thank my blessings like so many other Thanksgivings, but also today I share our Table with The Empty Chair. My son won't be joining us!And for many of you, Your sons and daughters will not be joining you because the drug took their life. A part of you died with them. And even though my son is alive, a part of me died each day he chose to use. My life and my family's lives were forever changed because addiction ravaged us just as it reaps havoc on the life's of millions - lives of every color, every religion, every economic status and moral code.
Throughout our journey, countless therapists, interventions, rehabs, jail, confrontations with drug dealers, and hospital visits, I was terrified and lost. I was uncertain where to turn to next because there was no road map on how to help my son. I was his mother and my job is to fix my son, care for him and make everything ok. There was only a profound sense of hopelessness and helplessness. And of course, the expenses, the stigma and the shame. I shouldered most of it, but also my young daughter who was my strength watched her mom daily struggle to keep it all together for her, as I put one foot in front of the other too many days to count as I struggled with an overwhelming heart of failure.
The Empty Chair is a symbol of all the emptiness I felt. The ups and downs are the hardest. The upside of feeling a real sense of optimism and purpose and then the down, the CRASH, the phone call that says it was all a lie. But worse for many, is the phone call that says, The Empty Chair is forever, "I'm sorry, your son is dead." As the mother of an addict, it's the phone call we are all most afraid of. I don't want to hear "I am sorry for your loss"! I want to hear that their are mothers like me fighting for their sons and daughters. I want to hear that we are using our voices to educate others about addiction. I want to teach others to STOP enabling and face addiction, and I want to see us on our knees at the Cross.
Our country loses a staggering 150,000 people each year to alcohol and drug abuse. And 20 million people suffer every day from addiction. Only 1 in 10 receives treatment. Can you imagine if only 1 in 10 people suffering from cancer or diabetes ever received treatment? I suspect you can't, because its unimaginable.
Last week the Surgeon General issued a history making report on the addiction crisis in America. His message was clear. Addiction is a chronic illness not a matter of moral failing. He told us addiction is preventable, addiction is treatable, and recovery is possible. But the Attorney General also said "science tells us how to solve the problem." Now we need to use our voices, quit hiding in shame, marshall the resources and will to address addiction in our communities. How "WE" respond to this crisis is a moral test of America. And it's a moral test of YOU.
We all view the world thru our own moral lenses and too often we hear and see only what we want too. Why? Because that's the easy way. Denying the addiction that lives within our families, is the easy way. Facing Addiction, talking about it, getting out of our comfort zone is hard. For me, I have to know I've done everything I can to help me son.
I have to continue to be a voice and tell my story for those who can't. On the days when facing the Empty Chair is the hardest, I DIG deeper, pray for strength, FIGHT harder, and USE MY VOICE!
On this Thanksgiving Day, I ask you to remember all the tables across America that have an empty chair and as you say prayers for all your blessings, please remember those empty chairs as people deal with the loss of a loved one, our soldiers who can't be home, and the homeless separated from their families.
Father GOD, I AM
I am an addicts mom, and today I celebrate Sobriety with my son from afar! I light a candle for you today as a symbol of FAITH as we have done together before! God Bless You my son!
