Another Battle

Sometimes I’m trapped in a room by myself and can’t figure a way out, I hear knocking on the walls and light seducing whispers in the dark.

As I stand in thought scared of the dark searching for answers the knock gets louder and the walls start closing. The whisper becomes a solid voice “come this way”.

As my world gets smaller with one more bitching line from my surroundings, the insecurities I said good bye to just moments ago come flushing back into the room. The frustration and anger steadily linger heavily in the air like a dense fog, so dark its as if the lights are out.

Your voice is a yell “I TOLD YOU OVER HERE!” The knock is a bang, my throat begins to close as if being suffocated or choked by my life around me. The Mansion I worked so hard to be build starts to crumble around. I kneel down in my safe room where no one gets in. I built it to withstand the strongest most intense of all situations. I lay down in tears trapped as the walls get closer, the banging louder and screams intently in my face.

I think who let you out, why are you here? You were chained you were shackled, you were buried. “Over here, over here, over here,” over and over and over I hear the voice, “I love you , let me hold you, pain is nothing with me,” you slip and rather than that beautiful voice in full seduction, I hear the underlying snarl that lurks deep in your throat. I curl into the fetal position battered and bruised from fighting you the day before. The battle was intense knocked down again and again by your giant arms and gnarly claws. I feel like I cant go one more second, I try to get to my feet and I fall, Im exhausted.

Your outside force batters me with negativity, accusations, and assumptions. Your best friend has taken my patience, my love, my hard work, and continues to take apart my mansion from the outside walls, while you and I live in constant battle. It was your best friend who let you out by weakening the structure I have built.

 I should’ve listened but I didn’t. I built my mansion on soft foundation! I thought dirt would be fine, forgetting that rain turns to mud everything begins to subside. It rains here more often than not and the ground stays muddy.

I cry out, I hear " over here,"  I cry out, I hear " over here," I look at the clock and its only 9am, it feels like I ve been stuck since forever again.

I hear the fight as the walls begin to press against my body, my sword and my shield sitting right beside me. I pick it up and it reads “Because you are my help I sing in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you and your right hand upholds me.”(Psalm 63:7-8)

The fog dissipates, the room grows larger, the sun shines in! I hear your hands and feet kicking and screaming as your dragged through the hall and down the stairs. I run after you and with my strong hand shackle and chain you to the floor. Not once, twice, or three times but four, I stare deep in yours eyes and take a swipe with my sword “Those who want to kill me will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth. They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.” (Psalm 63:9-10)

Today the battle is over for only as long as you sleep. Today I rebuild my mansion on a rock, “The lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." (Psalm 18:2)  Tomorrow we shall battle again demon, but TODAY!, TODAY I REMAIN VICTORIOUS!!!

By: Sean A. Blair

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Deliverable Sean A. Blair: reblesforchrist@gmail.com