My Son - Fight like a Warrior!

After a sleepless night, I woke this morning like many of mornings,with you on my heart, Sean Blair!

I have a great CHRISTIAN MENTOR who made me do some thinking this morning as we spoke about different men in my life today. Here's my thoughts for you today:
The virtue of strength is determined by how it’s used. If it’s used to love and to protect, it’s GOOD! Unfortunately, it can also be used to inflict harm, and that’s not consistent with what we see of God’s character in the Bible. He calls us to FIGHT for what’s right. And a warrior is only as worthy as his cause.

A man without a cause from God is often just an angry man who doesn’t know where to direct his pent-up energy and aggression. A man without a cause seeks excuses for his behavior. A man without a cause is arrogant and can't see himself clearly. It's the MAN with a cause who becomes a WARRIOR with a cause from God who directs that warlike energy for a cause greater than himself.

SEAN, God created you with the heart of a warrior. It's been said that Until there’s something you’re willing to die for, you can’t truly live. You were created to fight for righteousness.

Until you tap into that divine cause, you’ll be bored, destructive, and frustrated. Find something more. I thank God I get to live my divine cause. I honestly believe in my heart that my calling is to give myself, my heart and my love to mentoring others to believe in GOD and to believe in themselves.

You and I talked about this - the most important war: the end of the world as we know it and how it will affect the unbelievers. The war between heaven and hell. The kingdom of God versus the kingdom of darkness. Draw your sword and get on the front lines.
Fight like a man of God. It starts with family Sean, and it bleeds into everything you will do and everything you will be! I have heard from my girls often that their fathers were hardly role models, let alone Men of GOD. Many men in my life have used the same excuse, but that's the thing. it's just that AN EXCUSE for poor behavior. Instead of Fighting to be a different man, a different father, grandfather etc., they excuse their bad behavior, become arrogant or play the "woe" is me card! THEY are destined to repeat the sins of their fathers, instead of changing that history by becoming the best Dad, best husband, best grandfather and great role model for the next generation of young people.

What you really want is not to be some guy who looks strong on the outside, but a man who can stand strong because he spends time on his knees every day before God.” Don't miss this point -

A man isn’t the arrogant selfish guy who wins tough-guy fights, and blames everyone else for his poor behavior, but the man who knows his weaknesses and fights in God’s strength. He won’t be perfect. But God will be perfecting him.

Every guy wants to be strong. Maybe you’d like to make the cover of Men’s Health or something, a cocky little half-smile on your face, flexing your massive biceps as you slightly lift your tight V-neck shirt to reveal your ripped abs underneath.

That’s what many men think they want. But guys who invest their lives only in physical strength don’t advance God’s kingdom in the world — at least not that way. Men who are strong, men who are world-changers, men who are truly warriors are men who can admit their limitations. Their not victims, they love their families above anything else!

I want to redefine the way you think about what it means to be a warrior. It’s not about cockiness and attitude; it’s not about six-pack abs and picking fights; it’s not about succeeding in life and winning everyone’s admiration or envy. Being a true warrior is about knowing the source of true strength. It’s about knowing your weaknesses and turning to God to empower you to be the man He made you to be.

You’re already in a fight. Your spiritual enemy wants to take you out. He’s a master at making strong men weak. Sometimes he does that by making us comfortable, secure, and safe. Sometimes he lies to us, tempts us, makes us selfish and miserable to others. Sometimes he lures us into thinking there's something better for us, when in reality we already have the best. Is that really how you want to live? Though Satan makes strong men weak, God is in the business of making weak men strong.

And God has a unique way of awakening the dormant warrior within to fight one battle that prepares us to fight and win an even bigger one. Not only does God want you to fight, he wants to give you a cause greater than yourself, because it's not about you! It's about God and loving others! Then, once you love something enough that you’re willing to die for it, you’ll be set free to live. Fight for a cause greater than yourself. It’s in you.

You know it’s there. You can feel it. You have the heart of a warrior. FIGHT SEAN - be the example!

 I love you with all that I am!

By Addict's Mom - June Amaral

COPYRIGHT ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 2015

Duplications and Publish requests must be in writing.

Deliverable June Amaral: junannamaral@gmail.com

Another Battle

Sometimes I’m trapped in a room by myself and can’t figure a way out, I hear knocking on the walls and light seducing whispers in the dark.

As I stand in thought scared of the dark searching for answers the knock gets louder and the walls start closing. The whisper becomes a solid voice “come this way”.

As my world gets smaller with one more bitching line from my surroundings, the insecurities I said good bye to just moments ago come flushing back into the room. The frustration and anger steadily linger heavily in the air like a dense fog, so dark its as if the lights are out.

Your voice is a yell “I TOLD YOU OVER HERE!” The knock is a bang, my throat begins to close as if being suffocated or choked by my life around me. The Mansion I worked so hard to be build starts to crumble around. I kneel down in my safe room where no one gets in. I built it to withstand the strongest most intense of all situations. I lay down in tears trapped as the walls get closer, the banging louder and screams intently in my face.

I think who let you out, why are you here? You were chained you were shackled, you were buried. “Over here, over here, over here,” over and over and over I hear the voice, “I love you , let me hold you, pain is nothing with me,” you slip and rather than that beautiful voice in full seduction, I hear the underlying snarl that lurks deep in your throat. I curl into the fetal position battered and bruised from fighting you the day before. The battle was intense knocked down again and again by your giant arms and gnarly claws. I feel like I cant go one more second, I try to get to my feet and I fall, Im exhausted.

Your outside force batters me with negativity, accusations, and assumptions. Your best friend has taken my patience, my love, my hard work, and continues to take apart my mansion from the outside walls, while you and I live in constant battle. It was your best friend who let you out by weakening the structure I have built.

 I should’ve listened but I didn’t. I built my mansion on soft foundation! I thought dirt would be fine, forgetting that rain turns to mud everything begins to subside. It rains here more often than not and the ground stays muddy.

I cry out, I hear " over here,"  I cry out, I hear " over here," I look at the clock and its only 9am, it feels like I ve been stuck since forever again.

I hear the fight as the walls begin to press against my body, my sword and my shield sitting right beside me. I pick it up and it reads “Because you are my help I sing in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you and your right hand upholds me.”(Psalm 63:7-8)

The fog dissipates, the room grows larger, the sun shines in! I hear your hands and feet kicking and screaming as your dragged through the hall and down the stairs. I run after you and with my strong hand shackle and chain you to the floor. Not once, twice, or three times but four, I stare deep in yours eyes and take a swipe with my sword “Those who want to kill me will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth. They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.” (Psalm 63:9-10)

Today the battle is over for only as long as you sleep. Today I rebuild my mansion on a rock, “The lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." (Psalm 18:2)  Tomorrow we shall battle again demon, but TODAY!, TODAY I REMAIN VICTORIOUS!!!

By: Sean A. Blair

COPYRIGHT ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 2015

Duplications and Publish requests must be in writing.

Deliverable Sean A. Blair: reblesforchrist@gmail.com

The Drug - My Son's Enemy

My name is June and I am the "addict's mom!  

The journey of recovery begins with one foot in front of the other, one day at a time and the journey of recovery is not just for the addict but also for the addict's family.

"The Drug" – My son’s enemy

For the record, you were never my son’s friend, YOU ARE NEVER anyone’s friend and from the depth of my soul and every ounce of my being, I HATE YOU!  I have always HATED YOU and I WILL always HATE YOU.

YOU claimed to be my son’s friend at a young age.  You promised him laughter and fun.  YOU promised him that he would be “the cool kid” at school!  Soon, YOU became the most important thing in his life.  YOU tricked him into thinking he was popular and that the people surrounding him were his friends too.  But YOU were lying to all of them! YOU just kept sucking in kids with empty promises.  Promises that sucked the life out of them.

It wasn’t enough for YOU, that he became dependent on your friendship.  YOU soon took on different forms, more expensive ones; One day YOU were a cigarette, the next YOU were a needle.  I can’t even imagine in my wildest dreams all of the things my son did for you, but YOU already know all the horrible things, YOU know why he hates you and I hate YOU for all the hurt you caused him.

But I’m a mother – and when YOU were pretending to be my son’s friends all those years, I was dieing inside each day.  YOU robbed me of my little boy, YOU robbed me of the chance to enjoy his teenage years and watch him grow from a boy into a man.  Instead, I spent my time fighting YOU and fighting for him.  At times, I became so consumed with my hatred for YOU, it affected everything I did….my job, my friends, my daughter, everyday life!  YOU made me believe, I was a terrible mother and that I was unworthy of his love.  YOU made me blame myself day after day, until it consumed who I was. 

YOU made HIM a thief and a liar, a con artist, a master of deception, angry, sarcastic, arrogant, and sneaky.  YOU had him in and out of school, in and out of jail, in and out of rehab, in and out of half way houses, and in and out of addiction, all the time giving me hope, but each time YOU yanked it away. Over and over again, YOU slowly killed my heart and my son!

YOU made me have to protect myself and my family from YOU!  Do you know what it’s like to guard yourself every moment of every day because you're afraid of what's going to happen to him, afraid for your daughter and yourself, afraid to go home, JUST AFRAID all the time!  Then you con me again, and not trusting him, I slowly let him back in for brief periods, even though I don’t trust him. Then I begin to feel guilty, because I don’t trust him and slightly let my guard down.  I lock up info, I count the pictures on the wall, I sleep with my purse under my pillow, but he always finds something to steal from me or the people I love!  Again, my fault, because I wanted so hard to believe that maybe this time, it was real.  Maybe this time, he got smart and got rid of YOU!  But no, it never happens.  And I continue to repeat this cycle for years to come, as he lies, cheats and steals from everyone I love.  I vow over and over again, not to make the mistake again.

But then, YOU-THE DRUG!  YOU know what you do!  YOU bank on me making that same mistake over and over, because YOU know how much I love my son and YOU use that to get what YOU want!  Because YOU are the LIAR and THE CON.  YOU will stop at nothing – YOU prey on my love for him and decide having him isn’t enough, YOU WANT US TOO!  Now you tempt my daughter, tell her the same lies about how you can make her sadness go away, make her popular, and happy!  She HAS TO leave places early, make choices to walk away from friends, and feel like she has to protect her mom.  YOU made her grow up way to early!  I on the other hand wasn’t as strong as her.  I felt like I failed this boy (my son).  I carried the guilt he should have been feeling for all the terrible things he did, and tried to make it better for all the other people he hurt.  I Paid people back money I didn’t have, I apologized repeatedly for his actions, and I faced all these people every day, embarrassed, hurt and ultimately broken.  Soon, I couldn’t keep up the pretense.  My social time became consumed with talking about YOU, his addiction. A few weeks of awful depression AND TOTAL DESPAIR, I LET YOU almost take my life thru alcohol!  It numbed the pain, and for brief moments I thought being dead was better!  I wondered if this would be Sean’s “bottom”, and he would come back to a family who loved him!  It wasn’t his bottom, but it was the real beginning for me to realize that YOU were not going to take me down too!  YOU the DRUG, just continued on and at another lowest point in my life, Sean instead of hitting his bottom when he almost lost his mother, stole from me instead.

FOR the next several years, YOU the drug, his only true friend, would take him down many roads of self destruction and eventually take his life.  You had already taken ours……YOU took my son, my precious little boy, YOU robbed me of him, YOU robbed him from having his family.  YOU robbed me of having his children in my life and YOU robbed him of being a dad.  But this list goes on and on. 

I had to step away from my little boy.  YOU forced me to lock him out of our family for our protection.  Who knew when the next addict on my doorstep wouldn’t come with a gun, rape my daughter, or kill us for the drug money!  YOU made me lock him up over and over, YOU made me commit him, YOU made me do so many tough love things; things no mother should ever have to do to the little boy she loves.

YOU made me try and prepare for that phone call no mother wants to receive.

You know, the one that says, “I’m sorry – your son is dead.”  I prepared for my little boys funeral over and over in my head.  I composed a eulogy that I would say while standing next to his lifeless skeleton drug filled body.  It was an angry eulogy directed at YOU, the drug that killed my son!  Whenever the words would come to the surface, I would sit and cry for hours in the small little corner of my bedroom!

I want you to know the devastation you have caused to family and other families around me. But YOU the drug are beyond caring, all you see is the money you have made,
or perhaps you don't have a conscience at all.  YOU inflict misery and pain to millions of innocent people, people you don't know, the unheard cry of agony. Ordinary families trying to get by and do the best for their children, Sons or daughters that you don't care about, Lives destroyed at your hands. Kids that you deliberately set out to get hooked on drugs.
When you're a parent and have children you want the best for them, you want them to grow up to be happy, independent, and make their way in the world, to be honest and hard working. What you can't protect them from is the outside world, Monsters like YOU, The Drug, who roam free to destroy lives.
I looked on helplessly as I watched the child I brought into the world change in front of my eyes, and all I could see was death looking back at me, and there's nothing I could do. Believe me I tried; I put myself into situations to pull my son out, more times than I could count in bad neighborhoods, surrounded by dealers and other addicts! An angel must have been on my shoulder to keep me safe, but then I just had to sit and watch my son's personality change from a bright, caring and loving person, a person who had a future into something and someone that I didn't  recognize anymore.
As my family was being destroyed by a Monster like you, YOU also were after yet another young person and got them hooked on the filth that you make a profit from. I silently screamed inside as I watched the child that I raised,  doing things that I never dreamed was possible in order to pay YOU the devil for his next hit, his next fix, a dirty needle!  As families of addicts YOU make us watch helplessly as the cycle begins all over again the following day and you are dragged into a world you didn't know existed.  All I could ever do was pray to God every day that possibly I would see some change in my son's life, but it never happened because YOU the Drug, had drawn him in a world of evil.
Yes, I learned to live in fear, as I watched the child that I brought into this world
jump as the phone rang and you know that he owes money, and the cycle of evil continues and there's nothing you can do. You're a Monster and there's many forms of YOU out there, and YOU may feel that nothing can touch you, but trust me when I say that your time will come, where justice will prevail. 

If it's not in this world it will definitely be in the next, and there will be no rock for an animal that sells or the substance like you to hide. What comes around goes around, and for every bit of misery that YOU have caused to innocent and vulnerable kids out there, along with my son, it will fall back on you a million times over.  

YOU the DRUG, LISTEN UP! It's finally time for a change. Putting your hand on that noose tied around the neck of my boy so that he would hang from that jail cell is OVER! YOU tried to send him to hell, but what YOU didn't count on, is God our Father saw the living hell he had suffered for almost 20 years and our GOD pulled him back!  

So YOU, THE DRUG, get out of our way! GOD has given us a voice!  GOD continues to make us stronger and smarter as he works in our lives to heal both of us.  We travel different journeys, but the one thing that we have in common is YOU and our hatred of everything you represent!  BEWARE, YOU THE DRUG - The addict and his mother are coming for you!

 

I am an Addict's Mom - Junann Smith

COPYRIGHT ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 2015

Duplications and Publish requests must be in writing.

My Best Friend

To my Best Friend:

              For the past seventeen years you and I grew up together. When I met you It was like love at first sight and we immediately started to fall in love. You held me in your arms and always told me it was going to be ok. You made me feel like I was invincible, I could and would conquer the world. No matter if it was morning, noon, or night I could always count on you making me feel better. Hour by hour days would go by and all the guilt would be gone, the shame just disappeared. You promised you would love me as I loved you! You promised you would always make me feel good and you would never leave my side. You said I could do whatever I wanted, I would be popular and well liked, I would be the greatest of all and nothing could stop me. Our intimacy was so real as we grew closer and closer together. The more and more we got involved the more dependent and reliant I become on you, your company, your comfort and your healing power. I did everything for you, I gave up my family, walked out on my kids, hurt the people I loved, I lied, I robbed, I cheated, and I stole All to be WITH YOU. I became what you wanted me to be. I was faithful to you and only you and as my guilt and hurt grew stronger your hugs and kisses were bigger. You lied to me Demon! You stared into my face for 17 years and lied to me, you said it was ok and it wasn’t! You didn’t take the guilt or shame away you numbed and masked it. You ran when I got locked up or arrested, and I had to suffer without you for days on end. You left me sick and hurting only to be waiting for me at the doors on release day.  You made me homeless without a warm PLACE TO SLEEP! POPULAR??? Yeah popular with the police department. You took my friends, my family, my hopes and my dreams, YOU ROBBED ME! Everything you have ever done for me was under false pretense. You took my happiness. In my own house hour by hour, day by day, year after year, you guided me down the staircase, where we reached the darkest coldest of all dungeons. We danced and danced and danced all night long, until you were done with me. You shackled me to the floor stared deep into my eyes with those big teeth ready to devour me whole. You strung me up in that cell where you would wait for the right opportunity to keep me locked in the dungeon for eternity. Waiting to feed on my soul as it breaks, your breathing gets heavier and heavier you begin to salivate. After years of being fed by my hate and injured soul, you, the beast in the dark prepares to devour me whole. You eat and eat and overtime, it had become your decision if my light would shine. Darkness upon dark you’ve continually chosen, deeper you pull me I HANG THERE IM FROZEN. You, demon slip and make a mistake, the spark you saw scared you and you stepped away. As you break I see a small glimpse of white, like wings of angels swooped in to bring darkness to light, my angel has come to lift me on high, and proclaim to the lord I don’t deserve to die.  I grab your hand to drag you outta the pit, you scream and yell and start to spit!

The magnitude of light given off by my God, devours you whole, you stand in shackles, not in reach of my soul. Demon I write this to say in all that your worthless, I have a new best friend now and he gives me purpose! It was you by yourself whom sent all the scares, but now it is me, my mom, and the spirit who stand at the top of the stairs. AS you’re shackled and chained, in arms reach, to the floors, never forget my armies bigger than yours!  

I will not rest until Ive devoured every one of them! cause GODS GOT MY BACK,  look out we’re comin for you DEMON!          

                                                   -Sean A. Blair

COPYRIGHT ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 2015

Duplications and Publish requests must be in writing.

Deliverable Sean A. Blair: reblesforchrist@gmail.com